Mute *in progress*

When I met her I thought that she was the most singularly silent person I had ever seen. She personified the word in every movement, in every strand of hair. She shone, but so quietly that it was almost impossible to see her if you weren’t looking. She was so beautiful that you could not believe you had overlooked her once you noticed. It wasn’t until much later that I realized how much she had to say, and how incredibly important it was that she be heard.
When I was first introduced to her it was with the whisper of mute in my head, and she knew right away. The moment she saw me, I saw disappointment unfold within and about her like a familiar flower. I was immediately taken aback by the fall of soft hair and the sweet features of the girl. I had expected to be on a date with a freak, a retard, and here was a lovely woman with the largest and most expressive eyes I had ever seen on a human being. But they weren’t directed at me; the girl looked at her mother once, with a gaze that communicated nothing but appreciation and love. Then she turned away and walked with me down the firefly-lit streets of our quiet little town. The wind was warm, and the stars were just beginning to show through the fading light. I walked beside her silently, both attracted to her and unsure of how to treat her. I didn’t know how to talk to her- she was so self-contained, so comfortable in her own silence. She did not look at me, but walked watching the light fade from the trees and sky around us, as the night opened up its softly lit mouth and swallowed us both.
I coughed awkwardly. She turned and looked at me, like she might be trying to figure me out or something.
“I, um, I was wondering…uh,” I said, trying to start some kind of conversation. “uh, so, do you go to Trenson Prep? ‘Cause, yanno, I don’t think I’ve ever seen you at Northend High…”
She signed quickly, hands moving so fast I could hardly make out the words.
“I go to Northend...it was almost Trenson, but we couldn’t afford the tuition.” I felt horribly awkward. My family had never had money problems… plus, it’s odd to be the only one speaking in a two-way conversation. I suddenly felt like I was talking too loud.
“Oh…uh, yeah, Trenson’s pretty steep…but you got in? That’s a really good school…” I trailed off, again. Why couldn’t I think of anything to say? She shrugged and turned away. I felt discouraged. Was that all she was going to say? What did I have to do to get this girl to talk?
“Uhm…so you’re a sophomore then?” I said, too quickly.
“yes,” she signed, “I’m In your math and English classes.”
“Oh…sorry, I guess I never saw you.”
“I sit in the back.” She said.



Storyline:
Cancer of vocal chords when young, had to be surgically removed, totally lost power of speech. Was around….six to ten? Young enough to still be very innocent, old enough to remember and understand the loss. Man, perhaps uncle or mother’s boyfriend, or maybe even her boyfriend, is still in love with her after she breaks it off and bent on revenge. Already had some mental issues (modeled after colin) he is further twisted by the breakup. Eventually finds and rapes her/almost succeeds in rape? (She is in her bedroom, sleeping fitfully. This is narrated in his perspective. (“crept through the curtains, quick as the cold wind, slowly exploring the room where you sleep, the stare of your portrait, the passing of your scent, left me no choice but to stay…I will dissolve into the dark beneath your bed, my hands will wait for a taste of your skin…” she hears a sound and sits up sudden, wide-eyed and voiceless in the dark. She sits there silently, staring into the empty room for several minutes. Finally, a foot slips slowly, shakily out of the covers. She touches down to the ground softly as a feather, fear crawling on her spine, and a hand reaches from under her bed and pulls her to the floor. Screams echo in her wide-open eyes as she claws at the bedframe. She is pulled underneath in one smooth motion, her broken nails leaving streaks of blood on the wood.) After that is when she becomes so silent. Her lack of ability to scream for help traumatized her deeply and convinced her that her only refuge is in being unnoticed. Goes on blind date with narrator roughly 7-10 years after the (almost?) rape. This is one in a series her mother has set up, trying to get her to be more social, so she can have a semblance of normal life. Narrator falls in love with girl, and she likes him but does not love him. Eventually, they learn that the man who raped her is out of prison and is after her, narrator is forced to pack her up and secretly move her out of the country, perhaps Mexico or Brazil or something. They live in this remote location for a while. He is convinced they are safe but she is not, always fearful, which strains their relationship. Eventually, the rapist finds them and shows up with a big knife, narrator dies to save her, and she kills the rapist herself after she realizes that she is in love with the narrator as he dies. Story ends with her hope for the future.

On the narrator: (Allen)
He does have significant faults: very fixated on her from the beginning, much like the earlier man, which leads to her mistrust of him. (see “out through the curtain” for his feelings when she won’t see him for a while—this is because she realizes how he thinks of her. He is somewhat overdramatic, and is at the same time extremely sure of himself and very doubtful of his worth. Low self-esteem, but also a great confidence that he is right.

On the main character: (Lira)
She is mainly very self-sacrificing. Also low self-esteem, but expressed in a more conventional way, through extreme withdrawal from society. She does everything in her power to stay unnoticed. Her main fault is that despite the fact that she tries to put others first, she has very little empathy as a result of being an only child and withdrawing from society. She is terribly bad at seeing things from another person’s point of view, so although she tries to be kind, she often does the wrong thing. Irony-named for musical instrument but can’t make a sound. Not sure about her own soul- good or evil? Sees the good in others, they shine like a light, but she doesn’t see it in herself.

On the rapist: (Kaleb)